Best Actor

I didn't get to watch this last night but wish I had.

thoughts on a january monday

all the world is snow.
a canvas for anything:
even bravery.

Last night I was with some friends at a cozy listening party downtown, enjoying and giving feedback on the songs of a musician preparing to formulate his first album. I greatly admire those that translate their passion into their work and are unafraid to invite the world to look at, hold, judge their artistry put into tangible form. I am burdened often with the fear of the judgement. More than the scorn of strangers, I cringe at the thought of the disappointment of friends.

I was talking to my boss this morning about Karen's Memorial on Saturday, about the things we heard people say and do in these two days following. Things like "I want people to speak of me like that when I am gone." Things like "She was a modern-day hero of the faith." One couple even visited our church yesterday morning after having not been able to fit into the service because of the crowd, and knowing Karen only a little, feeling they could honor her by attending her church the following morning. So her love of Christ lives on although she is no longer with us, and we see evidence now that her life was meaningful, that she was a flame burning bright in a dark world. She is gone but the flame is not, and we must carry it on.

How does all of this come together? This is life. This is the time we've been given. Right now, right here, for a certain number of days. And how will we choose to spend it? These are the questions that haunt me and have haunted me for years, that I analyze over and over again and worry that I am not doing all I could, that I am not who I could be, that heaven forbid I am wasting time. Where is the balance between seizing every good opportunity and not being so busy and anxious as to cancel out the good with my superficiality; spreading myself too thin?

Clare said with hope a few weeks ago that "8 is the number of new beginnings." In 2008 I am longing for triumph, victory, newness, incredible joy. I want to be finished with despair, insecurity, overwhelming desire for the things of earth, selfishness, and shallowness. For too long I have been a little seed buried deep in the cold ground. It is time to reach up, to seek the sun, and bloom.

i've never loved the telephone

...so much as I have lately.

+

=

(this is what I got when I Googled "happiness." It really cracked me up.)

Oscar Noms Out

All in all, not surprising.

Blogs are buzzing about the snubs this year: Into the Wild (no Sean Penn, Emile Hirsch, Catherine Keener, or Eddie Vedder), Christian Bale (3:10 to Yuma or Rescue Dawn), Jennifer Garner (Juno), Ben Affleck (Gone Baby Gone). Here, here. Not to say that many nominees aren't deserving, and I haven't seen about half of the Best Picture films yet.

Congratulations to Hal Holbrook (Supporting Actor, Into the Wild), Casey Affleck (Supporting Actor, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford), Ellen Page (Actress, Juno), Julian Schnabel (Director, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly), "Falling Slowly" (Original Song, Once).

I do have to say that both No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood look incredible and affecting and I'm sure I'll end up seeing Michael Clayton before too much more time goes by. Is it really mean of me to say I was glad that Keira Knightley is not on the list for her performance in Atonement?

Anyone else have thoughts on snubs or praise due?

weekend

Some pure small joys from this past weekend:
Alternating looking out the window at the pouring rain...

...and a warm, comforting fire from inside the LBC chapel.
A long walk through the woods wearing yellow rain boots.
Spending under $1 at the Good Cheer Thrift Shop in Langley and walking away with a fascinating Travel + Leisure and a new book.
Organic, homemade creamy mushroom soup (my favorite comfort food) from Useless Bay Coffee Co.
New organic Calendula (my birth-month flower) lip balm.
Sunday evening spent in the company of the luminous Sarah Russell, as well as a bevy of wonderful, very dear, old great friends and feeling fifteen again.

...through the valley of the shadow of death...

The shadow of death has indeed seemed to loom long over my life and the lives of some dear to me these past several months. Last weekend was the memorial for my Great Uncle Bob, who helped to found Lakeside Bible Camp and invented the Salmon Bakes there, and who also was my doctor as a little girl. The weekend before was Anne Eernisse's memorial; the grandmother of some of my dearest friends. Back in September it was my own grandmother, and I watched my family struggle with their grief and loss while knowing that her tired and aged soul had finally gone home. And there have been others; other mothers, other grandfathers and grandmothers. I noted last Saturday that this past year I have attended more funerals than weddings.

And now one more dear friend has been taken home to heaven.

Karen Gullberg, energetic and encouraging mother to my friends Scott (& Melissa), Luke, and Becky, and beloved wife of Rod, has left her cancer-ridden body and gone to be with her dear Lord and Savior. We got the news Saturday morning, at camp. My heart is aching. I've spent so much time with the Gullbergs (this last year especially) and it seems impossible that just two months ago I was sitting next to Karen in their living room laughing and chatting, and she was fine, and now she's gone.

Please pray for them; Karen has left a legacy of endurance, faithfulness, and love, and they face the rest of their lives without her. Pray for our DMGC church body, who has lost a vital member and servant. Pray for LBC, who has lost a dedicated girls' camp and TCL director and speaker. And Praise God that his will and timing are perfect, that we were privileged to know and love her, and that we can look forward to the day when we will be reunited. Pray that hope will still light the way in the darkness.

Karen and Rod in front of the church, Summer 2006

Scott and Logan at Scott's birthday party, July 2007

Melissa and I at the Gullbergs' house, August 2007

Becky, Luke, and I at the Gullbergs' house, August 2007

Becky and I on the Oregon Coast, October 2007

better than the golden globes

Hollywood only wishes they had parties like this.

Bridget's Brazilian Bash!


Many more to come soon...(thanks Jamie for this one.)

comparison?

This morning I was told I resemble Gwyneth Paltrow for the first time in a long, long time.

I'm not gonna lie, It pleased me greatly.

I wish Francesco Clemente would paint MY portrait.

vinte e cinco

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY
BRIDGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait for the party of the year in just a few short days!!

WAFF continues...

...with Rushmore.

I want to wear a navy blazer. I want to ride a bike.

"Nice nurse outfit, guy."

"These are O.R. scrubs."

"OH, ARE they? Well, they're totally inappropriate for dinner."

"I didn't know I was going to dinner."

"That's because you weren't invited."

are you a creeper?

Three things before I lay my head down to sleep tonight:













1. This is the guy who sings me to sleep almost every night. I wonder if he'll ever know. I wonder if he'd think that's creepy. Probably. I've seen Denison three times live, and I have such a crush. In my mind he's pretty much the perfect guy. Smart, talented, funny, sweet, and modest. He makes me believe there's still good ones out there for those of us still waiting.













2. I went and saw Charlie Wilson's War tonight. Blah. The best part about this movie was the preview of Leatherheads I saw beforehand - starring George Clooney and John Krasinski! I am totally serious. Sign me up; those are like my two favorite guys right now! (Did you know that John Krasinski is 6'3" inches tall and the shortest of all his siblings?)















3. The other night while driving to Bridget's I was listening to the radio and Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" came on. I turned it up. Then I thought, oh, whoops, it's not Green Day, it's Oasis. "Wonderwall." Cool, I hadn't heard that in a while. Then all of sudden, I was like, "No way, they're playing TRAVIS on The End!" My brain was so confused. It turns out it was a mash-up by a San Francisco DJ of "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," "Wonderwall," "Writing to Reach You," and Eminem sampling Aerosmith. "Boulevard of Broken Songs." It made my night. (my first Gossip Girl and assorted sorbet in the Spice Room at the Collins' was pretty great too.)

Sun Peaks

Goodbye 2007: you were cruel.

Some small joys and too many sorrows. Welcome 2008; I'm ready for the end of life as I know it!

As the year drew to a close I needed to escape so badly; get time away where things were quiet and I had the time and silence to think. Amiliah, Mandy, and I fled the country...to Amiliah's family's condo at the Sun Peaks Ski Resort in Canada. It was, in a simple word, lovely. Perfect. Exactly what we needed. We cooked our own meals, watched an entire season of LOST along with a few movies (I recommend Disturbia!! But only if you like scary movies), played in the snow, relaxed in the hot tub, and I finally got to catch up on my Vogue reading (I'm finally on the correct month!) AND write in my journal (my heart was like a compressed hard stone in my chest; finally it's light again).

We watched professional skiers and snowboarders do tricks on New Years' Eve...

Kiss kiss!

Snow Angel

Isn't it gorgeous??

Returned from a day on the slopes

Amiliah taught me to snowboard!

This is actually me, no joke. On the pre-bunny hill. :)

Waist-deep powder.

After Christmas Movie Rush

Because why not?

First up, Thursday afternoon: P.S. I Love You with Karli and Lindi. I fully expected to dislike this film, as romantic comedies are usually not my thing and in the last weeks of December I admit I was in an especially militant mood when it came to anything pertaining to or alluding to love in general. I actually really loved this story. Some readers (you know who you are) will be pleased when I say that it inspired me to resolve that I will be "more open" when it comes to possibility...and that's all I have to say about that. Also, I think I need a trip to Ireland pronto.



P.S. There's just something about that Jeffrey Dean Morgan.


Thursday night, late: Atonement with Stephanie. We snuck out of Pirates 3 at Dan & Sarah's (despite Johnny Depp's perfect nose - really, I've decided I think he has a near perfect nose) and had high hopes for this so-called "epic romance." It has been praised up and down in noteworthy publications and I've heard it described as similar in tone to The English Patient or "one of the greatest love stories of our time." Hmmm. I respectfully disagree.

The acting was great (I adore James McAvoy more and more), the cinematography was spectacular...but the story? This is a "great" adaptation of a "great" novel? Really? I found the story full of holes, not well told, predictable, contrived. And I warn all sensitive souls now: there is a bit of vulgarity in the beginning essential to the plot which shocked even me and tainted everything that came after.