still, not yet

"Healthy people radiate energy; their skin and eyes shine. I open a sluggish eye each morning, thinking, 'What fresh hell is this?' I brighten up only after the second latte. Do healthy people do that? No. They bounce from bed and shout, 'Yes, I can!' or 'Bring it on!'"
(Vicki Woods, January 2009 Vogue)

hahahahaha.

tomorrow is hot yoga, class 2. i am loving how much i can sweat.

no books yet

"When nothing is decided, the space between two lives is infinite. I was barely me anymore. I felt so young and so empty you could see right through me."
(Joan Juliet Buck, December 2008 Vogue)

"there's something about sunday nights..."

well, hello.

i've been absent for quite some time...i'm tempted to say because nothing of interest has been going on in my life, but that would be untrue. life continues rushing over, around, through, and i am carried on the tide. something about today, the quiet grey, the snow flurries, and sad music on the radio...lines of poetry i can't remember anymore, the dark unfolding, the stillness of the house, the desire for sleep: it's got me all reflective and resolute. so, starting tomorrow:

*i will drink at least 64oz of water each day
*i will wash my face every night before bed
*i will polish up the resume (so my father doesn't continue to worry)
*i will start reading a book, then another, then another, then another, then another
*i will write in my journal every morning (it was lost for three weeks)
* i will keep my room tidy

these are simple things that will, hopefully, create some order in my life...some rules to follow, some purposeful action, that will then begin to seep into the drive behind grander purposes...meaning, dear reader, it is with a heavy heart that i admit the honeymoon is over. it's back to the real world for me. i need to find a job, and be responsible again, and carry my portion of the weight of the world.

i've been watching a few episodes of my so-called life as time permits. that brian krakow is so freaking adorable. i'd like to think i saw past his nerdiness the first time around but i think i remember the magnetic pull of jordan catalano like every other flannel-clad teenage girl at the time. rickie made me cry then and makes me cry now. i can't remember how it all ends...two discs left.

















there have been many things to celebrate in '09 already...three weddings in a row for starters. sarah lytle and matthew dickerson, kelley riggio and gregg brown, caroline matthias and mike cobb. the birth of sweet hazel mae roundhill. the kickoff of the LBC winter season (the new retreat center/TCL building is gorgeous...and the fellowship is the sweetest anywhere.) in other news, after years of searching, i finally found the perfect brown boots at anthropolgie. i bought a purple marc jacobs purse. i am still looking for the perfect grey skinny jeans.

this week i look forward to slumdog millionaire, my first foray into hot yoga, lots of long walks in the winter air, reading up on Oscar odds...and more to be revealed i'm sure. dreaming up schemes for the next year filled with the washington coast, canada, the midwest, los angeles, san francisco, minneapolis, washington DC, new york, scotland, dubai, costa rica, greece & turkey. (believe it or not, opportunities for all...if only i can fund it.)

time to rein in these scattered, silly thoughts. i have been so blessed, i do have hope, and look forward to whatever is waiting on the other side of this corner i'm rounding.