WAFF finale

Last night, Serrah and I were finally able to conclude our inspiring WAFF (Wes Anderson Film Festival) with the feature-length that started it all:

Bottle Rocket.

Dignan: Okay, there you see the star is me, right there, and I'll be in there, right in the middle. This X over here is Anthony. Bob, you're the zero out here in the car.

a weekend in pictures

for bridget

These are my favorites...today. ;)

5 things you can’t live without under 5 dollars:
1. lip balm (not chapstick)
2. iced coffee
3. vogue magazine
4. black-ink ballpoint pen
5. dark chocolate

5 Favorite Movies:
1. emma
2. into the wild
3. 3:10 to yuma
4. reality bites
5. good will hunting

5 songs you could listen to over and over again:
1. anything by denison witmer. especially "you got me good" and "healing time" and "little flowers"
2. "elephant love medley" from the moulin rouge soundtrack - ewan mcgregor & nicole kidman
3. "under the bridge" - red hot chili peppers
4. "the stone" - dave matthews band
5. "new favorite" - alison krauss

5 people who have had a positive influence in your life:
0. rod & kathy (goes without saying so I'm not going to count them)
1. patricia vena
2. clare
3. deena
4. rich
5. gwen

5 things in your purse you cannot live without:
1. debit card
2. lip balm (currently cherry carmex)
3. trident original flavor gum
4. cell phone
5. iPod

5 moments that changed your life forever:
1. michael is born - age 10
2. leaving starbucks
3. having to quit being max's nanny, summer 2005
4. "we're just friends"
5. i resolve absolutely, definitively, and firmly to follow christ for the rest of my life - campfire, sr. girls camp, age 11

5 current obsessions:
1. jim & pam
2. biola film school projects
3. facebook
4. white patent leather doc martens
5. soup for lunch

5 places I would love to travel:
1. iceland
2. antarctica
3. maine
4. greece
5. fiji

5 people who’s top 5 you would like to see:
1. nicole
2. deena
3. nadeen
4. rich
5. jeremy

spring is here!!...now what?

Proverbs 13:12.

Ever feel like you just have nothing to look forward to?
Yeah.
Disappointment, and a little TOO MUCH possibility.
I have a pretty vast imagination, and my imagination tends to get carried away with possibility. In fact, I've been known to get pretty drunk on possibility.
It's a great high and an awfully hard crash into reality.
For a very long time I've been diligent about crushing any little buds of hope that attempted to spring up out of the dark unknown. I thought it was better to kill them while they were young and new, before they had a chance to really bloom...because if they were allowed to grow tall and beautiful, wouldn't it just hurt that much more when they wilted and died? But the theme of my life these days is newness and I'm trying to be different, truly a new creation, not a squasher of life and hope but a cultivator. It's a struggle as I resist vulnerability with a staggering fierceness. I feel like a baby deer trembling on its new legs, wanting to be bold and run but so unskilled. And when the little disappointments come there's a voice that whispers loudly in my ear, "YOU ABSOLUTE FOOL." Foolish to think that good things could come to me, foolish to think I was something special, foolish to think anything could change.
I know this is not Truth. But it is my weak spot (like an arrow into Smaug), and I hear it, and believe it, and hang my head and feel ashamed of myself.

Lest you be concerned about "where this is coming from," nowhere really. I had a GREAT weekend. Pictures to come soon. But I will say, it is hard to go from abundant sunshine and penetrating warmth back to damp, and chill, and wan light breaking through endless layers of grey clouds.

last day of winter

Well, we survived. And tomorrow is the first day of long-awaited Spring. Hallelujah! I am off once again to warmer climates. A little break, if you will. Things I am very much looking forward to in the next several days:

*wearing tank tops and flip-flops
*Disneyland
*laughing - probably a LOT
*In & Out Burger
*Good Friday - remembering sacrifice, darkness, pain, brokenheartedness, with an eye toward...
*Easter Sunday (my favorite holiday) - celebrating resurrection, miracles, all that is new, hope, life, love, power. He is Risen!!!
*Holiday party at the home of a Bronco (if I can't be with my family on Easter, a Bronco is second best. And I don't mean Denver, people. I am talking of course about the legendary Bronco Squad...)
*Spending quality time with Ciara, Mandy, Amiliah, Nicole, Kelly, Ashleigh, and I'm sure some others too...
*wearing my new sunglasses
*taking lots of pictures

Happy Spring and Happy Easter, everyone!!

new haircut

happy birthday...

...DEAR (beautiful, hilarious, honest, thoughtful, real, intelligent, stylish, dedicated, brave) Nicole!!

celebrate good times

Last night, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! celebration for darling Sarah Roundhill.

*Dinner at Jak's (Filet Oscar...mmm. Upon having the plate set before me, Dan: Who would you like to thank? Erin: The Lord Jesus Christ. Dan: Oh, I was thinking you would thank The Academy since you just received an Oscar.)

*Homemade Coconut Cream Pie

*Once. Sigh. Love this film. Totally romantic, and at the same time totally realistic. The choices that we make affect us for the rest of our lives, and a happy ending isn't necessarily a Hollywood happy ending. I can't get the songs out of my head.

roseville

Imagine with me:

The clock ticks, and he cannot sleep. The tires screech, and she cannot run far enough. His whole life could change tomorrow, and so he runs. She is convinced her life can never change, and so she runs. Captured in worlds of their own, he never suspected that tonight he would understand what it means to be great. She never knew that she was worth something greater. Tonight their paths cross, on the road to Roseville.

Well, I am (kinda sorta) taking my first foray into the world of filmmaking, which has fascinated me for most of my life and only grows more interesting. The first step is supporting those that have the talent to create beautiful, memorable, and meaningful stories in this medium. My dear friend Mandy is producing our friend Peter's short film Roseville which is scheduled to start shooting at the end of March in the LA Area. I have been asked to be the "Seattle Liason" for this production. So far my responsibilities are fundraising for the project and planning the wrap party at the conclusion of principal production. Exciting!

If you are interested in learning more about Peter and Mandy, please click
HERE

And if you are intrigued enough to donate a little necessary (tax-deductible) funding, please click
HERE
Every little bit helps!

exultation

There are blooms all around; there's a fragrance in the air. The breezes have lost their chilly edge. The sacrifice of one hour's sleep is worth the lingering blue of dusk...

Spring comes.
Easter comes.
And hope is alive.

I am a new creation. Good things are coming!!

morningsong

"...Looking at the snow and trees that grow
Outside my window
Looking at the things that passed me by
Wondering if where I've been is worth
The things I've been through
Ending with a friend named Sunny Skies..."
(James Taylor)


I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me up out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.
O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit.
Sing to the Lord, you saints of his; praise His holy name.
For His anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.
(Psalm 30:1-5 & 11-12)

Guess who gets to go see the original JT at the Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery in July? I can hardly wait! But before summer; spring. And it is coming, swiftly, surely...resurrection, new life, warmth, golden days.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed.
We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

Well, it's one of those days where it feels like the only thing holding me together is the hope and purpose and grace and love of Christ. It gets so tiring to be in this battle, to be fighting for good, to be struck again and again and continue to get up and face the enemy with the strength of the one who loves me. The ache of the pain of this world ebbs and flows and seems to cripple me. So many hurting hearts and I want to heal them all. I can't. My own heart is battered, bruised, broken again and again. And I do not love with the love of Christ. I try, but on my own I can't help but love in a way that wants desperately something in return. I expect that my love, sacrifice, caring should be reflected back in equal measure. It rarely is and then it just hurts more. I have been learning more and more the last few years how true it is that Jesus is our brother, that he was human and knows what it is to feel this way. Imagine Jesus loving us so much and of ourselves we can never love back in equal measure. Imagine the pain He feels when He reaches out to us again and again and we ignore Him, turn our backs on Him, even spite Him; when we accept and appreciate His love but do not change; when we don't allow that love to transform, renew, resurrect the dead! This is how I find my comfort in Him. When I start to despair, when I am confused, when I feel that my efforts are futile, when I wonder why they don't love me, He whispers in my ear "I have been there."

I have mentioned before that I adore the music of Denison Witmer. There has been one refrain that has been haunting my mind for quite a while...I hear it now...

I have been where you are
I am well aware that there is hurt
That never goes away
I have been with you
Things I know will not let your hurt carry you...

I am weary. I just want to hang my head and sleep, go somewhere quiet, let the tears flow and let Him carry me.

whistler weekend

Little things I loved about the weekend:

* Everyone drinking Earl Grey Tea on the drive up

* Hiking through the trees and snow while the sun shone in the blue sky

* Yoga by candlelight

* Crepes

* Red wine and dark chocolate

* Zoolander and Michael Clayton

camp.

heaven on earth.

green IS gold

Thanks Adrian. Your serious expression (and serious beard) make me even more determined to take environmentalism seriously.
(Also thanks to www.gofugyourself.com for the photo and the hilarity)