the end of summer as i know it

Home from camp yesterday, for the last time in '08. Home is relative as I am packing up all of my earthly belongings today and moving them nine blocks south and three blocks west. This process is always so frustrating for me. Why do I have such a large bed? Why is the frame made of iron? Why is my television so heavy? Why do I need such a large dresser? (Okay, that one was my father's and has chevron-engraved handles and I love it. But it is a beast.) How on earth do I have so many clothes and so much junk and so much accumulated mail?! Not to mention books and magazines. Aye, me. Mostly I think I don't like it because I need to ask for help. There's the rub!

So anyway. Had another fantastic, utterly exhausting week. My back hurts and I'm sleep deprived. Now I start looking forward to the fall. A quieter life perhaps? We'll see.

And now for something completely different. If you want to laugh so hard you cry (like I did), click on THIS. Haha!! (Some content may be inappropriate for young children.)

bring back those...

...lazy hazy crazy days of summer!

It's pretty grey today. Blah. Blah. Blog.













Heh.

Okay, so last night was the perfect way to spend a summer's eve. Sarah and I went with my parents and a few of their friends out to the Chateau Ste. Michelle winery in Woodinville to enjoy (the legendary amazing wonderful gracious talented) James Taylor...and his Band of Legends!

Snacks, sunshine, ice cream, wine, music dear to my heart, an energetic (and entertaining) crowd..."two good friends on my left and my right"...perfection. Three hours flew by like fifteen minutes, the whole crowd was dancing on the grass by the end, and Rod gave it an A++.

So. There's that glory, and then today's lethargy. I am driving myself CRAZY with my inefficiency, lack of motivation, and slothfulness. I have been home for a whole WEEK and feel like I haven't taken a single bold step down the golden path of my future life. What happened to my great ideals, optimism, determination, and zest? Poof. Don't get me wrong, I've been quite content. That's the problem. I need a swift kick in the pants. Get going you fool! You're wasting precious time! All I know is life is just fine but could be extraordinary if I would just get it into gear and not settle for the same old, same old. I am totally frustrating myself! Okay, vent over. But seriously. Carpe diem and all that. Soon enough I'll be food for worms, let's make something happen!

I think what I am missing quite honestly is a sound structure in my life. Too many hours of waiting and wondering and I just topple into despair.

dream weaver

...couldn't wait for Bridget to be back from her blog vacation so i could read up on the Collins summer so far. She'd posted this suggestion for the imagination:

"If you could travel with any famous person in any location which person and which location would you choose?"

I let mine just write out whatever first popped up. And she made this spectacular series of collages:

George Clooney - Lake Cuomo, Italy

JD Salinger - New York City

Wes Anderson - Antarctica

Meryl Streep - Tanzania & Kenya

Kurt Cobain - Lakeside Bible Camp

...how good it is to dream. That is one thing I am working on...not stifling my imagination. I think I have been living a little too much in reality. It's good for the mind to let loose a little now and then. And I've had a renewed respect and admiration for imaginative people as of late.

This week:

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday: essential seattle with the out-of-towners. Delaying the inevitable post-camp crash. Waking up Wednesday to a grey & cloudy sky and the sad reality that i would see no TCLers that day. Lunch with Vena was a gift from above and then I spent the entire evening telling my parents every detail of the previous weeks. *sigh*

Thursday: sushi birthday lunch w/ Kellie, Sarah, and Mary and then dinner at the Roundhills'. Nice and cozy.

Friday: The Dark Knight and Cheesecake Factory with the TCLers. Got a migraine halfway through the movie and still have not fully recovered. Yuck.

Saturday: surprise birthday party for Kellie/TCL '93 reunion. Incredible, strange, surreal, marvelous. 15 years?! Not possible.

Sunday (today): sunny skies, LBC staff at church, wedding celebration, TCL '08 1-week reunion (ha!) I LOVE these kids. blanket time, river dipping, barbecue, ultimate frisbee, worship, prayer for our absent friends.

So. It's been a transition week. I am back in my real world but a different creature. I keep forgetting i have wings; i'm crawling around on the ground and forgetting to use them.

back from rehab

home.

("home". i actually feel like i've just left home.)

couldn't have asked for a more perfect 21 days.

(i didn't even dare to ask. i simply stand in awe of the blessings poured out on me.)

1993. 1996. 2008.

legendary years in the lakeside life of erin hanson.

as close to perfection as time on earth can get.

a glimpse of heaven.

God's love made tangible in unbelieveable fellowship.

sigh.

golden days.

speechless and exhausted.

(here is just a smattering of moments:)

\

camp.

three weeks.

goodbye...

a little bit of this and that

Friday night, attended a screening at the SIFF at long last. Every year I want to go soak up film culture and somehow the time gets away from me. This year was no different; suddenly it was closing weekend. We picked The 27 Club. Joe Anderson - one to watch. Maybe you saw him in Becoming Jane as the Wickhamesque Henry or Across the Universe as Max? One of my new favorites.

I went for long walks this weekend. I organized some junk. I talked on the phone. And a slight worry began to creep in about the unknown future. It's really happening and I'm about to take flight.

These are some goals for this summer:

*Read at least ten books.
*Improve the dexterity of my right eyebrow so that it is equal to the abilities of my left.
*Run.
*Apply for things I'd never get, just to (for once, come on you coward!) do it.

More to come I'm sure.

Twenty-six years ago today I gave my life and heart over to Jesus. No regrets.

the chrysalis cracks

this is what it's like

finding your feet again

the part of you that couldn't

finally thinks you can

you're taking off some time to do this

a small apartment bedroom rearranged

to know that you are loved

you're finding your feet again

the part of you that couldn't

finally thinks you can...

...and you said:

Go now in the light of your God

Go now in the love of your God

Go now in the peace of your God

Go now in the joy of your God

(denison witmer)

One week until the new chapter begins.

tagged by bbc

I am: imaginative

I think: best when i am moving

I know: who i am

I want: to be significant

I have: everything

I wish: on stars

I hate: to disappoint you

I miss: the '90s

I fear: mediocrity

I feel: hopeful

I hear: the blood pumping in my head

I smell: like i need to take a shower

I crave: leisurely mornings

I search: for where i fit in

I wonder: if i will ever be satisfied

I regret: keeping my feelings to myself

I love: having friends of all ages

I ache: for the truth

I care: about the little things

I always: say 'i love you'

I am not: kind enough

I believe: in the resurrection and the life

I sing: out loud

I dance: as therapy

I cry: few and far between

I don't always: take care of myself

I fight: when i'm anxious and insecure

I write: about what i can't say out loud

I never: pay my bills on time (well, rarely)

I listen: to the lyrics

I need: to be unique

I am happy: when i'm outside

ok? ok!

snippet of a note from a very dear friend:

...Therefore, let this be our summer motto, I feel it in my bones, "long live happy."
OK? Let's just be ridiculously happy. Let the sun shine down on our pretty faces and let us laugh and walk among trees and shine flashlights and listen to fires crackling pine needles and let us embrace the magic of who we REALLY are.
long live happy...

rain rain you can stay

Oddly enough I haven't been minding the rain this week. I do wish it was warmer but what can you do? It's finally June in Seattle.

Last night I spent a few hours moving everything I have from the bedroom on the ground floor to a bedroom on the third floor. Every time I move (an activity I truly despise) I am disgusted by how many things I own. I grumble and moan and in my heart there's a desire to just pile it all up and burn it. Simplify and reduce so that at any given moment I could pack up and take everything with me. I guess you could say I've never been a homebody. Even so I am gladly anticipating a summer spent in Washington...I want to breathe it in (Anne Shirley). I am so looking forward to quality time spent with those that know me best. Still, it's fun to daydream about where to go next and what possibilities might be out there...! I just can't help myself.

in a little while i'll feel better
gonna travel all around the world
gonna see it all

gonna go to paris, maybe rome
but i'll feel better miles away from home,
gotta figure some things out

so sell all my things, i'm not coming home
there's nothing there to keep me there
just heartache and headache and worries and things that'll bring me down
my head feels much clearer being here

in a little while i'll feel better
gonna spill my heart to every stranger in every town
i'll visit castles in ireland,
have some fella play the violin and play a song for me

so sell all my things, i'm not coming home
there's nothing there to keep me there
just heartache and headache and worries and boys that'll bring me down
my head feels much clearer being here

(rosie thomas)

like a virgin

Okay, so is it wrong that I totally loved the SATC movie? I've barely ever seen the show...maybe snippets of one or two episodes. Of course, there was beyond-gratuitous nudity here and there (HBO + "Sex" in the title = lots of HBO-style sex! Avert your virgin eyes!), and then there was that tediously annoying humping dog that every romantic comedy seems to employ these days...but I've already forgotten about all of that. (I wonder if there will be a TBS-cleaned-up version of the movie one of these days?) I admit I have become a big fan of the fashion and the friendships. I want more! It was such an experience to sit with my girls in the ArcLight Hollywood with a gleefully raucous crowd and get all wrapped up in the hype. Nicole is so Charlotte and Ashleigh is so Miranda. Which leaves me as some sort of Carrie-Samantha hybrid?

Dinner at Magnolia on Sunset capped off the fun. Delicious and so swanky. "Bring me another Gimlet please!"

when there's nothing left to burn...

...you must set yourSELF on fire.

This is a lyric that always cracked me and Michael up quite a bit. Stars. I saw them open for Death Cab a couple of years ago.

This was my Memorial Day Weekend (sorry, no pictures. I was just living life):

Friday - Opening Gala for the UW Senior Thesis Art Show at the Henry. Delightful company. So many creatively-dressed patrons. A scavenged buffet table. Then: Nanaimo Bars. Cinerama. Indiana Jones.

Saturday - Coffee with a very dear friend. Fall-down laughs. A bus ride. Folklife. Delicious dinner and conversation with a roommate. A walk through the dusk drinking organic strawberry lemonade. Feeling like kids. Falling asleep on the couch. Welcoming in a friend at 2am.

Sunday - Roadtrip to the east. Sunlight on trees and miles of green. Sasquatch! Blue Scholars, Cold War Kids, White Rabbits, Tegan & Sara, Rogue Wave, Mates of State, The Kooks in the sun. Running into friends. Death Cab at sunset. The Cure under the stars. Falling asleep in a bunk bed.

Monday - Breakfast and anecdotes at a beautfully set table. Wind in my hair all the way home. A barbecue at the home of beloved friends. Swinging in a hammock. Lying in the grass. Crawling in bed early for a sleep full of dreams...

Tonight I fly south. Yes, again. It seems these days and weekends of escape are never quite enough to satisfy.

why i love tuesdays

I may have just seen the cutest film I've ever seen in my entire life:

A power struggle with the box office Snape-alike, a sympathetic concessions girl, complimentary water, a secret picnic, little boys with British accents, lots of laugh-out-loud moments, an '80s soundtrack, a French kid with crazy style, Chuck Bass, and a heartwarming conclusion. Who could ask for anything more?

(Also just found out that the band members of Travis have a cameo in the Teacher's Lounge scene. How I missed them, I don't know. Too enthralled with the guy who looked like Reuben. Clearly this film and I were meant to be kindred. Must see again.)

giddiness

A little dream has come true this morning. I have been a talented artist's muse!!

remembering parachutes

i wanna live life

and never be cruel

i wanna live life

and be good to you

and i wanna fly, and never come down

and live my life

and have friends around

we never change, do we?

no, no

we never learn, do we?

so i wanna live in a wooden house

i wanna live life

and always be true

i wanna live life

and be good to you

and i wanna fly, and never come down

and live my life

and have friends around

we never change, do we?

no, no

we never learn, do we?

so i wanna live in a wooden house

where making more friends would be easy

oh and i don't have a soul to save

yes, and i sin every single day

we never change, do we?

we never learn, do we?

so i wanna live in a wooden house

where making more friends would be easy

i wanna live where the sun comes out...

Anyone heard the new Coldplay? What do you think? I'm still a little peeved at them for putting on exactly the same show in the same city less than six months apart on the X&Y tour...